Hypnotherapy – It Works for Men Too!
Many people are surprised at how many male clients we see at Inspired to Change. Despite the terrible statistics showing us that 76% of all suicides are men there are plenty of men out there looking for ways to look after their mental health. And our approach here at Inspired to Change is a refreshing one – no going back over the past or re-hashing old problems that we can’t change anyway. We use a modern, clinically proven solution focused method which means all of our focus goes on finding the solutions to help us move forward without any need to dwell in the past.
Here we follow two of our male clients journeys to turning their lives around.
Quite by chance Graham found himself seeing Claire, our Maidstone East based hypnotherapist.
“If someone had told me just over a year ago that my life and my attitudes towards it would be changed drastically and unrecognisably by a course of hypnotherapy I’d have dismissed the claim as ridiculous but that’s exactly where I find myself, happy, relaxed and un-plagued by the social anxiety and demons that had plagued me previously.
I suffer, though I use that term loosely as there are many benefits, from Asperger’s, a disorder which causes difficulties in social interaction. Over the years I managed to learn many of these social skills that come naturally to others, the awkwardness experienced in group social situations was still a massive bugbear for me, although most folk would be oblivious to this as it was masked with the aid of hefty drink habit.
Alcohol was my friend. I remembered being a social pariah at school whereas now people, on the outside at least, liked this version of me, the more confident, less anxious me that folk saw shooting a breeze and waxing lyrical whilst numbed to everything else by permanently having a alcohol level running around in my blood stream that would probably leave a rhino wobbly.
But I didn’t have a problem. I couldn’t be an alcoholic as I didn’t drink at home. I couldn’t be an alcoholic as I never got drunk.
It wasn’t until I went on a food detox as part of a diet that I finally concluded that I had a problem. Day three of the detox and I could no longer function. The entirety of my thought processes were consumed by a need, an all-consuming desire to have a drink. I couldn’t function.
Tasks that were performed daily at work were just forgotten and I didn’t want to interact with anyone. I was anxious in a way I hadn’t experienced for years.
Help came from a very surprising source. Eight days after going dry, I tried to attend a salsa session, something I’d enjoyed no end whilst drinking despite it being well outside my comfort zone. The session itself was a failure. I couldn’t cope with the social aspect, the proximity to others and I found myself outside grabbing air rather than dancing. Seeing that I was struggling one of the other dancers, Claire, followed me out and helped calm me down. During the conversation, she eluded to the possibility of being able to help, with the aid of some hypnotherapy sessions. I’d have laughed if it wasn’t for the fact that I was failing, flailing in the dark as to how to cope. I was a cynic of the highest order, with very much a view of ‘You’re back in the room’, when it came to anything associated to hypnotherapy. I couldn’t have been further off the mark.
The following Tuesday, five days later, it was time for my first hypnotherapy session. I’d still managed to stay off the alcohol but my inability to start, let alone finish tasks had worsened and an apathy towards life was now very much the case.
In that first session we discussed what hypnotherapy would entail. No mumbo jumbo, no energies and realignment talk. Nothing that would leave me wanting to call a halt to the session. We discussed the science of hypnotherapy, with words like Dopamine and Serotonin and neural pathways being used rather than the lingo I’d expected. We discussed what I wanted to get out of the session, which was odd. I’d just thought I’d wanted to give up booze and be able to function, but the conversation focused on objectives, goals and rewards, how to ‘train the brain’.
The actual hypnotherapy session also ran very differently from expected, I was taken on a journey of relaxation. I very much believed that I was hearing everything that was said, but in post session discussion it appeared that I missed a load, but that didn’t matter as Claire informed me that the subconscious still takes in what it needs to from the words being spoken. So, I can tell you of a walk down stairs into a garden and not much else other than how it affected me after the session.
After that session, I slept and when I say slept, I mean SLEPT. Customarily I used to sleep three to five hours a day. I slept for ten hours!
The week prior had been a disaster, with tasks that normally took a day and a half still not being finished by Saturday morning. This week was in complete contrast. I whizzed through 2 days of work in 4 hours. Possessed with a focus and energy that was totally unfamiliar I ploughed through tasks.
Session two of hypnotherapy and we scored our successes in relation to objectives, we set new goals and rewards but most importantly I approached the session without any apprehension. Whereas before it’d been a ‘we’ll give it a try’ approach now I had a ‘what else can I get from this’ outlook.
Over the six weeks our objectives, goals and rewards changed but the constant was the increase in my scoring and the positive impact on my life. What started as a desperate last chance saloon turned into a godsend. My outlook, my lack of need for alcohol, my productivity, my happiness, my total lack of anxiety, my ability to interact all improved.
I’ve grown as a person. I’ve gained so much and I’ve bettered myself. My happiness is at an all-time high.
Hypnotherapy opened me up to the possibility of being better, being happier and living in a way that I’d not experienced prior. I’m not really sure whether we dealt with my alcoholism, my Asperger’s or life in general but what I do know is we dealt with throwing away whatever was holding me back and moving forward, unhindered, unfettered and without fear.”
David had a very different story.
He sought help from Ali in our Maidstone clinic after a very challenging breakup left him unable to bounce back to being himself, feeling unhappy and negative. He was a busy working dad with his own business and at his initial consultation with Ali he realised that this recent challenge was just the ‘tip of the iceberg’ and there were older, deeper issues to resolve.
Throughout his sessions David began to find out what was good about himself, what he liked and how to put his needs at the top of the agenda, whilst still being able to be the loving and generous person he was naturally. He was reluctant at the start when Ali asked him to write down something that was good every day, but understood it was an essential part of the process and came round to the value of that small habit eventually! He started to take up old hobbies that had fallen by the wayside over time, through pressure of running his business and personal conflict around meeting his own needs, and he took up new ones. He met someone new and was able to negotiate the nerve wracking beginning of a new relationship.
He let go of some very old stuff that had been holding him back and laid the foundations for a better and more sustainable way to live his life positively.
By the end of his sessions David knew how he wanted to live his life, his strengths and capabilities, his value and what he needed to keep up to stay happy. He remains very positive and confident to this day…Ali knows, because he pops back once a year for a reminder session and to remember to put himself first!
If you are feeling low and struggling to see the positives in life maybe it’s time to book your FREE initial consultation with your local Inspired to Change hypnotherapist. Inspired to Change Hypnotherapists are based across the UK in Peterborough, Northamptonshire, Cambridgeshire, Leicestershire, Devon and Kent.
Inspired to Change Hypnotherapists are all recognised by the National Council for Hypnotherapy, the UK’s leading not-for-profit hypnotherapy professional association.
To find out how you can train as a solution focused hypnotherapist click here for our hypnotherapy school information